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by Robert Newton and Mark Volpe

My friends all tell me, "Lose that girl,"
Pay ‘em no mind, pay ‘em no mind,
Say I wouldn’t trade her for the world,
She means so much to me,
She eats with her feet and swings from a tree,
There’s only one thing that she can be--and that’s a monkey,
Yeah, she’s a monkey.

I call my mom, she nearly hurls,
I say, "Ma don’t cry, please Ma, don’t cry,"
It’s not like I cross-dress and don’t like girls,
Her last guy was a clown
She pees on her face when she’s upside-down,
Her circus check keeps us comfy, I’ve found--my
   little monkey,
My pretty monkey.

Ran into Father Kennedy,
Lame, deaf and blind--lame, deaf and blind,
He asks me when my wedding’s going to be,
I say I do not know,
He asks me whose darling child is in tow,
I kindly ask, "Please, come closer," to show--the kid’s a monkey,
Yes, she’s a monkey.

My friends all say I didn’t think,
When she was mine, when she was mine,
Now she’s with that chump Lancelot Link (Secret Chimp)
She meant so much to me,
Now I’m all alone and out of my tree,
My little prime-mate she always will be--my little monkey,
Sweet little monkey.


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