by Robert Newton
I was driving along one quiet moonlit night,
When this shadowy thing wandered into my sight,
After making sure the object wasn’t someone’s kid,
I floored the gas, took aim––guess what I did?
I ran it over––I squashed it flat, Roadkill!
I ran it over––and that was that,
I ran it over––oh, what a thrill,
‘Cause it was R-O-A-D-K-I-L-L,
It all started one spring about fifteen years back,
I watched some kids drown my kitty in a burlap sack,
And after that, I witnessed some drunk crazy guy,
Make Sparky, my dog, resemble a pizza pie.
He ran him over––he squashed him flat, Roadkill!
He ran him over––and that was that,
He ran him over––then he was still,
‘Cause he was R-O-A-D-K-I-L-L,
I was taken to court by the A.S.P.C.A.,
They weren’t really very nice, with nothing kind to say,
They said, "Your honor, please convict this man, he’s dangerous
He murders housepets, here is what he does."
He runs them over––squashes them flat, Roadkill!
He runs them over––and that it that,
He runs them over––it makes me ill,
He makes them R-O-A-D-K-I-L-L,
While some people display the heads of animals they’ve shot,
I just scrape up, shellac, and mount the mangled icky spot,
If someone says, "Hey that’s disgusting, you are sick––what’s
wrong with you?"
I get in the car and here is what I do...
I run him over––I squash him flat, Roadkill!
I run him over––and that is that,
I run him over––don’t stop until,
I make him R-O-A-D-K-I-L-L,