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IíD DO ANYTHING FOR LUNCH (OR A LITTLE SNACK)
parody of "Iíd Do Anything For Love (But I Wonít Do That)"
by Jim Steinman as performed by Meat Loaf
parody lyrics by Robert Newton

And I would do anything for lunch
But I didnít have the time to pack
I would do anything for lunch
Or just five minutes for a snack

I slept through my lunch hour and the boss wonít let me eat
That jerk
So I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack

Some days my momma packs it
And some days she just cannot
Some days I buy it from the guy in the truck in the parking lot
And sometimes I feel like a Big Mac
Sometimes itís pork-fried rice
Some days I say to myself, "A bucket oí chicken
Would be real nice."

Health foodís not for me
Because it frankly tastes like poop
If you donít believe me
Perhaps youíd like to try a scoop
And after a night out drinkiní,
Hungover and barely thinkiní,
Crap--I forgot to pack my food,
Iím such an asshole!

Man I would do anything for lunch!
Oh I would do anything for lunch!
I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack...

I would do anything for lunch
Something to nibble or to munch
Or just a little snack...
Letís go to Dennyís for some brunch
A piece of toast on which to crunch
Oh, for a pancake stack!

I left my wallet home and
I guess itís just as well
I donít have pocket change
For something cheap at Taco Bell
Health foodís not for me
Because it frankly tastes like poop

If you donít believe me
Perhaps youíd like to try a scoop
As long as my stomach is grumbliní
Forgetting my lunch is humbliní
I think thereís a Tic Tac in my drawer--
And Iím gonna eat it!

But I would do anything for lunch!
Before I have a Mac Attack
Yes, I would do anything for lunch
But I was too hungover to pack
Iíd gladly pay you Tuesday for a cheeseburger today,
With fries
And I would do anything for lunch
Something on which to nosh or munch
I would do anything for lunch
Or a little snack
Or a little snack!

Girl:
Will you eat low-fat
Keep your cholesterol down?
Can I pack a healthy lunch in a bag that is brown?
Will you make it to an age that is old?

Boy:
Iíll try to lose fat!
Yes, I can do that!

Girl:
If you eat like a pig youíll give yourself a clot,
If youíre bent on dying young then letís go out and choose a plot,
The folks we know all think, "My, how youíve grown..."

Boy:
I know Iím gettiní too fat!
Just like the Garfield cat!

Girl:
I know youíre hungry, baby--I hear the sound,
Youíll get a pizza to go and youíll suck it right down,
Sooner or later youíll be six feet around...

Boy:
How Iíd love to attack!
K.F.C. for a snack...
Anything for lunch,
Or a little snack...

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